Misplaced attachment to metrics

I do this thing called 750 words.  You go on the website and you write.  And every day that you write 750 words, you get some points.  And an X shows up on your scorecard like a strike in bowling.  Every day you write anything at all, you get 1 point.  It shows up like a spare on your score card.  When you get strikes on several days in a row, you get badges.

Well, today, I logged in and I was disappointed to see that I only got a spare for yesterday's writing.  I expected to see a strike because I distinctly remember passing the 750 word mark in my writing yesterday.  Maybe I closed my computer before those last few words were saved or something.  I don't know.

Then I realized is that it doesn't even really matter.  I did the writing.  That's the important part.  I got to process some thoughts.  My mind feels a little less cluttered.  I got a little bit more clarity on a big project. 

Whether or not I get a strike or a spare or whatever the number of points or badges I get for writing is not the point. 

What's interesting is that because this metric is so much more visible and concrete than the clarity and progress I made through writing, my heart actually sank a little when I saw the spare instead of the strike, which I expected. 

It's very silly, actually.  Because the part that really matters is done.  The writing is there.  And I've already extracted the benefit of it. 

Yet, as evidenced by that heart sinking, I see that I've put far more importance to this metric than it deserves.

Attention leaks

After sehri this morning, I prayed a few raka'ahs of tahajjud and sat to make du'a.  I was trying to take advantage of the last third of the night, when prayers are more likely to be answered.  But I struggled.  I kept getting tempted to open my computer -- to look at what, I don't really know.  But I could barely sit still.  I actually walked to my computer and then walked myself back to my prayer mat a couple of times.

Later in the day, I prayed at the Pickering Islamic Centre.  It's a beautiful masjid.  One of my favourites.  And I found it so much easier to pray.  And to focus.  And still my mind.  It was amazing.

It was as if my attention was water in a dam and distractions like my computer were leaks in that dam, allowing my attention to trickle away.  When I was at the masjid, I could focus.  The dam held.  There were no leaks.  Now I just need to figure out how to plug those leaks when they appear.  Because Pickering is a long way to go to focus and pray.