A matter of starting

It's one of those lessons that I seem to learn and forget and keep having to learn again...

There's some big task that I need to do and I find myself procrastinating. 

It might be my taxes, some piece of writing, or the work that goes into coordinating a community event.

And as I procrastinate, the thought of that task weighs on my mind constantly.  I may be doing something else or nothing at all (I've learned to procrastinate in different ways :p) yet I'm constantly thinking that I need to do this thing.  It can go on for weeks.  A constant level of stress and anxiety about something I'm not doing but should be doing.

The funny thing is, after all this stress, there's always a way out.  And it's not even that hard.

I just have to start.

Instead of thinking about the whole task in all its complexity, I just need to do the first thing.  The tiniest little first step of the whole process.  It might be picking up a pen and opening my notebook and starting a checklist.  Or looking up some information or sending an email..  Or dialing a number and asking a question.  It's never anything extraordinary or complicated.  Just a single action, which often naturally leads to another action, and another.  And sometimes that's all it takes to get the whole thing done.  And if not, I will at least feel so much better for having started.

And then I just need to do the first little thing to get started on the next part.

Not a final exam

I attended a talk by Amira Hass a couple of years ago where someone asked her if the protests we saw in Israel that summer would bring about social change.  In her answer, she said that social change is not like a final exam.  It's not a one time event that we prepare for, execute and then forget about afterwards.

That's true for a lot of things.

Maybe the problem is that we're in school for so long that we forget this.

Life isn't a series of semesters where you take a course, write the exam, pass and get the certificate.

It's about showing up every day and doing what it takes to make things work and make things better.  Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year...

It's how relationships work.  How businesses work.  How society and social change work.  It's how life works.

It isn't a final exam.

Never lose hope

Dalia Mogahed gave a talk at RIS this morning on the political situation in the middle east -- on the wars and daily tragedies that are tearing the region apart today.

At the end of the talk, she told us to never lose hope.

And reminded us of the story of Musa 'alaihi salaam.

When he and his people reached the shoreline, they stood facing the Red Sea as Pharaoh's army approached imminently from behind.  The situation was hopeless -- by secular standards.

But then, God told him to strike his stick and He parted the sea.  And they were saved.

God didn't need Musa to strike his stick.  He could have parted the sea on His own without any action from Musa.

But He told Musa to strike his stick.

And there's something to learn from that too.

We must never lose hope in God's help and His mercy.

Our job is only to do our part and be witnesses to God's miracle.

Be a gift

At the Reviving the Islamic Spirit Knowledge Retreat this year, a sister from Quebec asked Dr. Tariq Ramadan what Muslims should do when they live in a community that is increasingly hostile to them and the practice of their religion.

She's joined others in opposition to Quebec's proposed values charter.  Meanwhile, her friends who wear the hijab have difficulty finding jobs and are faced with increasing animosity and abuse on the streets.

She asked, at what point do you just leave?

His response...

When they try to portray you as a threat, be a gift.
Stay.  And be a gift.

Prayer for a partner

In the story of Musa 'alayhi salam, after Allah tells him to go to Pharaoh, Musa makes the famous prayer:

قَالَ رَبِّ اشْرَحْلِى صَدْرِى

[Musa] said: My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance]

وَ يَسِّرْلِى أَمْرِى

And ease for me my task

وَ احْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِنْ لِسَانِى

And untie the knot from my tongue

يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِى

That they may understand my speech

Surah Taha : 25-28

Right after this, though, he makes a prayer, that's not so well known.  He asks Allah to appoint a minister from his family, his brother, Haroun.  And this is what Musa asks Allah for in this partner:

اشْدُدْ بِهِ أَزْرِى

Increase through him my strength

وَ أَشْرِكْهُ فِى أَمْرِى

And let him share my task

كَىْ نُسَبِّحَكَ كَثِيرًا

That we may exalt You much

وَ نَشْكُرَكَ كَثِيرًا

And remember You much

Surah Taha : 31-34

What a beautiful description of a partner and the purpose that they aim to achieve together.

Human development and tawakkul

In human development, we progress from dependence to independence.  We're born as creatures completely dependent on others for our care and basic nourishment and protection.  As we grow up, we learn to do things on our own and we become more independent.

For some, the development stops here.  They learn to do things on their own and as much as possible they want to do things on their own.  They don't want to have to rely or depend on anyone.  They want to do it themselves.

But there's a level beyond independence.  None of us is perfect and we all have different strengths and weaknesses.  If we can work with others and let their strengths compensate for our weaknesses, we can create a whole that's greater than the sum of its parts.  That's interdependence.

I used to think that the progression ended there.

And then, I realized that there's another step beyond relying on others.

It's tawakkul -- where we depend on God.

I remember reading about Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and how he had a habit of praying an hour every day.  And then when his day was going to be particularly busy and challenging, he would pray even longer.  He knew he needed God's help even more that day.

I'm also learning myself, ever so slowly, that everything comes from God.  He is the Cause of causes.  And if He chooses to grant you something, no one can prevent it from reaching you.  And if He chooses to withhold it from you, there's no way you can get it.

So you make your effort, but the result is up to Him.  So if you don't get what you were striving for, you don't need to beat yourself up about it.  It's not all in your hands.  You don't have control over everything.  You just need to keep trying.

Perhaps His withholding of the thing you wish for is good for you.  Perhaps it's part of a lesson that you will not be able to learn any other way.  Perhaps it's His way of protecting you.  Certainly, He has a good plan in everything.

And when you realize this, somehow life gets a lot less stressful.  You don't put so much pressure on yourself because it's not all up to you.  You learn to accept whatever situation you're in because you know that a higher power and a better planner has put you here.

Now, stepping back and thinking about all this, the truth is, from the beginning, we were completely dependent on God anyways.  So tawakkul, is not so much a new step, but a realization of our original condition.

I got to thinking that's basically what we're doing in being Muslims -- in submitting to God -- we're just being true to ourselves.

Because whether we like it or not, we are servants of God.  We were created as such.  And when we realize that and act accordingly, we're just aligning ourselves with our inner, original nature.

It reminds me of the first line of the Girl Guide promise... "I promise, to be true to myself..."

We've always had a hard time explaining that to the girls.  And now I know it has a deeper meaning than we ever thought.

Service for the Soul

It's a truth I've known for a long time.  That the giver is the greatest beneficiary of the gift.  That volunteering and helping people out really helps us more than anyone else. 

These past few months, being away from my little community, I've come to see that truth with a new clarity.

I need to work.  I need to serve.  To be useful.  To push a wheelchair down the street and have coffee with my neighbour.  I need to pack meals and give them to the guys in the square that wait for us every Friday.  I need to shop for groceries and cook and serve and share a meal with the volunteers and guests who join us for our monthly lunch. 

The service isn't for them.  It's for me.  I need it.  Like my lungs need air and my stomach needs food.  My soul needs service.