In human development, we progress from dependence to independence. We're born as creatures completely dependent on others for our care and basic nourishment and protection. As we grow up, we learn to do things on our own and we become more independent.
For some, the development stops here. They learn to do things on their own and as much as possible they want to do things on their own. They don't want to have to rely or depend on anyone. They want to do it themselves.
But there's a level beyond independence. None of us is perfect and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. If we can work with others and let their strengths compensate for our weaknesses, we can create a whole that's greater than the sum of its parts. That's interdependence.
I used to think that the progression ended there.
And then, I realized that there's another step beyond relying on others.
It's tawakkul -- where we depend on God.
I remember reading about Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and how he had a habit of praying an hour every day. And then when his day was going to be particularly busy and challenging, he would pray even longer. He knew he needed God's help even more that day.
I'm also learning myself, ever so slowly, that everything comes from God. He is the Cause of causes. And if He chooses to grant you something, no one can prevent it from reaching you. And if He chooses to withhold it from you, there's no way you can get it.
So you make your effort, but the result is up to Him. So if you don't get what you were striving for, you don't need to beat yourself up about it. It's not all in your hands. You don't have control over everything. You just need to keep trying.
Perhaps His withholding of the thing you wish for is good for you. Perhaps it's part of a lesson that you will not be able to learn any other way. Perhaps it's His way of protecting you. Certainly, He has a good plan in everything.
And when you realize this, somehow life gets a lot less stressful. You don't put so much pressure on yourself because it's not all up to you. You learn to accept whatever situation you're in because you know that a higher power and a better planner has put you here.
Now, stepping back and thinking about all this, the truth is, from the beginning, we were completely dependent on God anyways. So tawakkul, is not so much a new step, but a realization of our original condition.
I got to thinking that's basically what we're doing in being Muslims -- in submitting to God -- we're just being true to ourselves.
Because whether we like it or not, we are servants of God. We were created as such. And when we realize that and act accordingly, we're just aligning ourselves with our inner, original nature.
It reminds me of the first line of the Girl Guide promise... "I promise, to be true to myself..."
We've always had a hard time explaining that to the girls. And now I know it has a deeper meaning than we ever thought.
